God's Favor to His Prodigal Daughter
I believed in God all my life, but at some point, I wanted to do my own thing. It wasn’t that I ran away from God or anything, but I wanted to figure things out for myself.
This happened when I was living out of a suitcase, staying with friends and family. I also didn’t have a job at that time, but what was worse was that I had developed panic and anxiety attacks. Sometimes they were so painful that I thought something bad was happening to my heart. Although the period of living out of my suitcase didn’t last long, each day was a matter of survival, trying to get through without getting paralyzed by a sudden panic or anxiety attack.
When I was in that poor physical and mental state, I had to make a long trip from a small town called Sárospatak in Hungary back to Shanghai, China. I was staying with my missionary cousin and his family in Hungary. From Sárospatak to Shanghai required me to take a 3-hour-40-minute train to Budapest, a 2-hour flight from Budapest to Helsinki, and then 9-hour flight from Helsinki to Shanghai. Looking back now, I can manage this type of long journey in comfy clothes with a few movies to pass the time. But back then, I didn’t know when the next episode of a panic attack might paralyze me. I was in constant fear and anticipation. I was extremely stressed and distressed, wondering how I would even get from the middle of somewhere in Hungary to Shanghai on my own.
On the day of my departure, my cousin drove me to the train station before sunrise around 5a.m. I wanted to smoke a cigarette before getting on the train. As I was puffing away, my cousin suddenly alerted me to get rid of the cigarette quickly. He said, “Pastor Daniel is coming.” Pastor Daniel is a local pastor and a friend of my cousin and father. He happened to be traveling to Budapest on the same train. Right away, I knew it wasn’t a coincidence for him to be on the same train as me at 5a.m. Of all the days and trains, I knew instantly that God graciously sent Pastor Daniel to accompany me.
On the train, I felt extremely claustrophobic, and it felt like the longest train ride of my life. Nevertheless, Pastor Daniel’s presence was comforting to me. Even though I didn’t pray to God often at that time, I was still grateful that He sent someone to be with me. Once we arrived in Budapest, Pastor Daniel put me in a taxi to the airport and blessed me with a prayer.
At the airport, I checked in for my flights-from Budapest to Helsinki and from Helsinki to my final destination, Shanghai. I looked at my seat number on my ticket, and noticed it was in the 3-something range, one of those front rows for the Helsinki-to-Shanghai segment. It made me wonder if it would be a business-class seat even though my ticket was for economy class.
As I went through security, the dreaded moment occurred-a panic attack. I somehow got through it, despite the knife-sharp pain in my chest along with dooming fear and suffocating claustrophobia. But then I had a relatively peaceful flight from Budapest to Helsinki after that episode of a panic attack. At that time, I didn’t know that after a panic attack, the body copes on its own by staying relatively calm.
Once I arrived at the Helsinki airport, I went outside for a cigarette before boarding my 9-hour flight. I had traveled often before and never experienced anxiety or panic attacks before. It was a difficult territory to navigate with this new symptom. And I wasn’t looking forward to the long flight but I was very curious about my seat. Could it really be a business class?
I boarded my final flight to Shanghai, and the flight attendant directed me to a business-class seat. It was so spacious, not claustrophobic at all. I knew instantly that God had provided this as a gift, making sure His precious prodigal daughter would know that her Heavenly Father was still watching out for her. He provided a comfortable flight knowing my struggle with claustrophobia. I managed to sleep like a baby, occasionally waking up feeling anxious. But I managed to get back to sleep straight away with my legs straight under a cozy blanket.
After a very restful flight, the flight finally arrived in Shanghai. As I walked over to the baggage claim area, I spotted a familiar face. It was Rob, a coworker from my previous job in Shanghai three years prior. We used to take smoking breaks together. It turned out that we had been on the same Finnair flight from Helsinki. We chatted for a bit and stepped outside for a cigarette, just like old times. Since we were heading in the same direction, we decided to share a taxi.
Looking back, I was never alone on that trip from start to finish. It would be impossible to call these moments of favor as mere coincidences.
Even though I didn’t return to God immediately after this experience, I have always cherished this precious memory of how He provided for me when I was at one of the lowest points in my life.
For this reason, I wanted to make a piece that symbolizes the truth that we can always find our way back to God. His protection, grace, and favor are always with us as His prodigal children. So I made a compass design to represent this journey. As we navigate through life, we can rest assured that we will come back to God because He loved us first. It will be a matter of time, and eventually, His love will always reach us.
This is the right before going into casting process in silver. 